The Vital Organs
by Halunygin
Summary: A spell goes wrong, and Remus is at Sirius's bedside.


**A/N: This is for the Choose-Your-Wand Challenge. The first component is wood type, and I chose holly. I really like this, but at the same time I think it could have been better. Read and review!**

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"Oh, everything hurts."

"Serves you right for acting like an impulsive idiot."

"Moony, I might be dying, cut me some slack, will you?" Sirius moaned, opening his eyes to see the werewolf sitting at his bedside with his arms crossed, looking entirely unamused.

"You're not dying, so no, I won't. What possessed you to think that cornering Glenn Morrison was a good idea?"

"His stupid face," Sirius replied under his breath. Remus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That is not enough of a reason to attack him with whatever you did. What were you doing?"

"I was trying to make him projectile vomit," Sirius replied, wincing as he sat up slightly. "Nonverbally, so he wouldn't suspect anything. I don't know what went wrong."

"Karma," Remus suggested with a grim smirk as Sirius doubled over in pain and groaned. "Are you sure couldn't have been hit by the rebound?"

"If I had, don't you think I would have puked by now?" Sirius snarled, and Remus leaned back. Sirius sniffed. "I'm sorry, Remus, but this really hurts."

Remus cracked a smile. "It's okay," he sighed, smoothing back Sirius's matted hair. "That bad, huh?"

"I _wish_ I was puking." Sirius inhaled deeply, relishing in the werewolf's touch. "Remus, I really do think I'm dying."

"We'll see what Madam Pomfrey says," Remus replied, shaking his head, but there was amusement dancing in his eyes that lessened the agonizing pain in Sirius's abdomen. Then again, Remus's presence always lessened his pain. It was then that the matron opened the door to her office, looking as exasperated as always when faced with the marauders, specifically Sirius Black.

"What have we done to ourselves, now, Black?"

"He was trying to make someone projectile vomit," Remus replied, crossing his arms once more and glaring at the boy. "Why then? Why not at least wait until I was done talking to him?"

Sirius couldn't very well say that seeing Morrison talking to his lovely Moony was what prompted him to cast the spell in the first place, so he shut his mouth and shrugged, trying his best to look adorable while his eyes were scrunched up in pain.

"Am I to understand you didn't succeed?" Madam Pomfrey continued. Sirius took a deep breath. He didn't want Remus doing all the talking.

"I missed and hit a window. The last thing I remember was the ricochet heading my way, but I'm not vomiting, so I don't think I was hit."

The nurse nodded as she waved a wand over the entirety of Sirius's body. "Could you describe the pain?"

"Like my stomach is trying to rip itself from me."

Remus shuddered. "Sirius, please!"

Madam Pomfrey frowned. "What was the incantation you used, Black?"

"Um, excoquam ad corpus," Sirius replied, furrowing his brow. Pomfrey nodded, her frown more pronounced.

"What, what's wrong with him?" Remus demanded, forgetting he was speaking to a staff member. He squeezed Sirius's hand involuntarily.

"Nothing too bad, Lupin, he simply cast a body expelling charm instead of a vomiting one."

"What?" Sirius gaped as Remus turned a faint green. "You mean-"

"Yes, your body is going to try to purge itself of your internal organs," the matron explained. Remus made a noise that indicated that was not what he thought she was saying. "But it's very simple to reverse. I do need to get some ingredients from Professor Slughorn to do so. I'll be right back."

"Wait, what do we do if he loses his bowel or something?" Remus asked, finally regaining the ability to speak. Madam Pomfrey waved a hand.

"I won't be long, just make sure anything he regurgitates is put directly in stasis, although I'm sure I'll be back before that happens." Remus continued to gape at her. "Calm yourself, Lupin, the vital organs are always the last to go."

With that, she left the hospital wing.

"I didn't know Pomfrey was that cracked, did you?" Sirius said with a laugh. Remus turned to the bedridden Gryffindor with wide eyes.

"She just told us you'd puke up your organs, how are you unfazed?"

"Sounds pretty metal, honestly," Sirius replied. He patted Remus's hand. "Moony, stop it, if Madam Pomfrey's not worried, you shouldn't be."

"I know, but, ugh, it sounds absolutely disgusting," the werewolf shuddered. As Sirius shrugged, a spasm of pain went through him and he start coughing.

"Are you alright? Here, hold on." Remus fumbled for his wand and conjured a small basin. The coughing stopped, and Sirius held up a hand.

"It's fine, I'm okay."

Remus nodded, but his forehead was still scrunched up in apprehension.

"You know," Sirius started. "I'll be fine by myself until Pomfrey gets back."

"What?"

"I don't need a babysitter, and I know you don't really want be here, since you're mad at me and all."

"I'm here because I'm worried about you," Remus said, making Sirius's heart flutter ever so slightly.

"I mean, who else can stand you long enough to sit by your bedside?"

The flutter ceased, and Sirius pouted in mock indignation to cover up the ache in his chest.

"Of course I'm mad at you, you tried to humiliate a friend of mine for no good reason," Remus went on, smirking at the pout. "Unless you do have a good excuse."

Sirius looked down. "I can't tell you, Moony, it's stupid."

"Maybe, but I still want to know," Remus said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the bed, and propping his head on his hands. "Really, Pads, I'm so used to your stupidity, whatever you have to say probably won't even faze me," he added with a grin.

"What if I said I loved you?"

He hadn't meant to say it _out loud_. But Remus was looking all perfect and Remus-like, and it slipped out.

Remus sat up straight, his mouth slightly agape. "What?"

Sirius decided that was the best time to pull the covers over his head. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd suffocate. It was preferable to death by embarrassment.

"Sirius, did you say you loved me?"

"What? No, of course not, that'd be ridiculous," Sirius replied immediately, though he couldn't keep the waver out of his voice.

"Yeah, you did." The animagus could almost hear the grin on the werewolf's face, and his already aching abdomen spasmed. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"The same reason I'm taking refuge under the covers," Sirius snapped, biting his lip to keep from tears from spilling out. He didn't think Remus would tease him this badly.

"Speaking of, when do you plan to come out from under there?" Remus asked, pulling lightly at the bedsheet.

Sirius snatched them back. "When hell freezes over."

Remus laughed. "That's too bad, because I was hoping to tell you to your face that I love you too."

That was it for Sirius, who threw off the covers to glare at his so called friend.

"I get it, it's hilarious, but that's just cruel-"

He was cut off by a certain werewolf planting his mouth on his. Remus pulled back to grin and cock his head at the bemused animagus.

"Do I really need to repeat myself?"

"Um." Sirius's brain seemed to be on a delay, and with a single goal in mind, which was to get Remus's lips back on his. "Yes?"

"I love you too, you jealous dolt," Remus said affectionately. A smile slowly formed on Sirius's face, and he nodded, before grabbing Remus by the tie and kissing him, running his fingers through his tawny hair. A spasm in Sirius stomach made him break if off, wincing.

"We shouldn't do this now, you're sick, and you could cough up a lung, quite literally, at any moment," Remus said, looking guilty. He yelped as Sirius pulled him onto the bed beside him and kissed his nose.

"The vital organs are always the last to go, remember?"

Remus couldn't say anything to that, as Sirius had already pulled him close to kiss him once more. They remained in that position in the hospital wing, peaceful and content. At least until Madam Pomfrey came back.


End file.
